Bad Dreams
by TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: "Wholly by chance Han had become an expert in dealing with bad dreams and their aftermaths. And his wife and son seemed to have similar reactions to their nightmares; they both wanted to wrap themselves up entirely in his embrace and not talk about it." Little young Solo family angst, bit of fluff too. H/L.
**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except the mistakes as this is un-beta'd.**

Bad Dreams

Her sudden gasp brought him out of a deep and dreamless sleep. He was disorientated only for a moment before the familiarity of the room and the familiarity of that particular sound from his wife in the middle of the night transported him back to the waking present. Normally the noises she made would wake him before she had woken herself and he could help her come out of that dark little place in her sleep filled mind carefully, as not to startle her. However tonight that was not the case; Leia was already awake, sitting bolt upright in bed, staring straight ahead. Even in the dim light of their bedroom he could see her chest heaving up and down under one of his old t-shirts. Normally the thing swamped her tiny frame but the sweat caused by her night terror had made the worn material stick to every slight contour of her upper body. The only sound he could hear was her gasping breaths.

"Leia?"

Nothing.

"Hey?"

He reached out brushing her shoulder in an attempt to sooth her but she jumped away from his hand as if it had burnt her. She swung her head round, eyes wide in fear, staring straight at him but he knew she wasn't seeing him. He held up both hands, showing her his empty palms as a gesture of peace.

"It's me." He tried to keep the sleepiness out his voice, tried to keep it calm and even and slow. He knew from experience that worked best. "Leia, it's me. Just me."

She continued to stare blankly at him, her chest still rising and falling at an alarming rate, and then slowly the cloud in her eyes began to lift as some sense of clarity crept its way into her head. Then she was diving at him, her whole body hitting him square in the chest with such force it pushed him down onto his back. Her trembling little form all curled in on itself as she buried her head so far into the base of his neck it felt as if she were trying to physically burrow her way inside of his skin. His long arms wrapped around her, covering as much of her as he possibly could, a barrier between his wife and anything that dared to try and hurt her.

Leia's reaction to her nightmares were nearly always like this. First she would push him away not knowing who he really was and then when she realised she would launch herself into his arms and he would hold her until her breathing returned to normal and she felt calmer. Sometimes she would fall back asleep in his arms without uttering a word. But always when day came the next morning she would act as if nothing had happened.

"It's alright." His large hand was rubbing comforting circles across her back. "I've got you, you're safe."

Her breathing wasn't slowing as quickly as it normally did and after a moment he felt a hot wetness on the top of his chest. Han glanced down to see her silently sobbing, her whole body suddenly quivering against him.

"Leia look at me." He said firmly. She didn't move. "Look at me." He brought a hand under her chin and forced her head up to look at him. Her lips trembled against his fingers. "You're okay. You're here with me in our home. You are not there." He didn't have to specify where 'there' was. It was the Death Star, it was always the Death Star. "It's gone. They cannot hurt you anymore. They're all gone and they're never coming back."

Leia nodded against his hand the movement causing more tears to fall from her shinning eyes. She looked so small, so vulnerable at that moment and Han hated it because she wasn't those things she was strong and powerful and great but those bastards still got her years later in the middle of the night. Worming their way into their perfect, peaceful lives and scattering her happiness to the wind.

"Sweetheart…" He whispered more gently than his previous words as his fingers stroked across her jawline. She tucked her head below his chin once more at the same time his lips found her forehead and he held them there. "I've got you." He repeated softly.

An unexpected movement from the doorway caught Han's attention as the door swung open to reveal their four-year-old son. Ben stood, hovering over the threshold of his parents' bedroom; his long dark hair was sticking out at odd angles, one hand clutched his beloved Wookie stuffed toy, the other was rubbing at his eyes lazily. He'd looked unsure of how he had got from his bed to there and Han could tell he was still mostly asleep. Leia's gasp was barely loud enough to wake him and he was laying right next to her so he knew that that was not what had woken Ben. His son often wondered into their bedroom in the middle of the night seeking comfort from one of his own bad dreams, though he didn't currently look distressed in any way just confused and very sleepy. Han concluded the timing of Ben's arrival must be completely coincidental and now the whole house was awake.

Leia became aware of Ben's presence at once due to that damn force connection thing that Han still didn't entirely understand. She stiffened in his arms, throwing a cautious glance towards their son.

"I don't want him to see me like this." She whispered to Han, clearly panicked. It was the first thing she had said since waking from her dream and her voice cracked a little.

Han gave her a reassuring squeeze and moved out of the bed, walking towards his son:

"Hey bud." His voice was soft, the same as it was with Leia only moments before but Ben did not respond in any way. His gaze remained fixed on his mother, huddled in her big bed and still visibly shaking. "What are you doing up?" Ben was unmoving. "I'll take you back to bed and tuck you in okay?"

As Han came to stand in front of him Ben finally moved, taking slow and deliberate steps he approached Leia's bedside.

"Ben." Han warned his tone now completely different but he had no idea how to finish the sentence. Ben spoke before he had the chance:

"It's okay Muma, I feel it too."

Leia's head whipped up from where she was trying to hide her tear-stained face and she met the kind gaze of her son.

"Feel what?" She asked, her voice still harsh from sleep.

"You scared." Ben stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and to the three people in that room it was. "I feel it. You scared of the mean man in the black mask. He hurting you."

"What did you say?!" Han sounded horrified; he was talking about Vader, how the hell did his son know about Vader?! Leia said nothing, feeling numb by what she was hearing.

"Muma's dream." Ben explained, his eyes not turning to look at Han but remaining fixed on Leia's face. "You very scared of that horrid man. He not very nice to you."

"He's talking about your dream." Han addressed Leia but she too refused to look at him instead staring straight back at Ben. "Did he see your dream? Did he see Vader?"

"Oh my gods!"

She clasped both hands to her mouth but it did little to hide the shock and disgust that was spreading its way across her delicate features. Ben had seen her dream, felt her fear, now knew what Vader had done to her all those years ago. Leia felt sick, her head was swimming and her vision was blurring quickly. She couldn't even protect her son from her own fucked up psyche.

Ben, unaware of the turmoil his revelation had caused both of his parents, ploughed on regardless:

"It okay Muma, he won't get you. We won't let him, will we Daddy?"

For the first time since entering the room Ben took his attention away from Leia and turned to look at Han standing behind him at the foot of the bed. The look of innocence and trust on his son's face almost broke Han's heart. He recognised the words Ben had spoken from the countless times he had said them whilst trying to soothe his little boy after one his nightmares. 'I won't let them get you Benny.' 'They can't hurt you with me here.' 'They'd have to get through me first.' 'You just watch them try.' Words like these had become mantras of his over the last few months in which Ben's nightmares seemed to have been coming much more regularly. They were desperate words spoken by a father that would say anything to calm his terrified son. Now, he realised these words were much more than that to Ben. To him they were the unbiased, unshakeable truth and Han had no idea whether to be proud or petrified that his son had so much faith in him to make everything alright, to protect him against all odds.

He realised he had been quiet for too long, Ben was staring at him; silently imploring him to answer.

"No," Han's voice sounded almost as upset as Leia's. He cleared his throat and tried again. "No, we won't."

Satisfied with the answer, Ben turned back towards his mother, a genuine smile of triumph spread wide across his cheeks. Leia had to bite back another sob. Her wonderful little boy.

"Ben, come here."

She opened her arms to him and he jumped into them happily. He threw his arms around her neck, the stuffed Wookie clutched faithfully behind her head, his face buried in the neckline of Han's shirt taking in the comforting, combined scent of both of his parents. As soon as he could no longer see her face the tears feel freely from Leia's eyes, silently streaming their way down onto Ben's oblivious shoulder. She had one hand on his back, the other stroking his soft hair.

"I'm sorry baby," she whispered to him, "you weren't supposed to see that. Muma didn't want you see that. I'm so sorry."

"It okay. You see my bad dreams sometimes."

Han blanched at Ben's words. If Leia could see their son's nightmares it was news to him. He knew she could tap into his feelings and even try and soothe him through the force but he didn't realise she could see anything specific. Leia caught Han's eye over the top of Ben's head. He could see a hint of guilt creeping into the sorrow she currently held in her gaze. She knew she had been caught out.

Leia tended to regard Ben's nightmares like she did her own; that is something she absolutely did not want to discuss. He didn't know when this revelation about seeing Ben's dreams had come about, especially seeing as for the last few months when Ben had a nightmare all he seemed to want was Han. Though he would never say it to Leia, Han suspected this was because he had had enough experience with her to know exactly what to say and do to bring someone out of a dream like that. Wholly by chance Han had become an expert in dealing with bad dreams and their aftermaths. And his wife and son seemed to have similar reactions to their nightmares; they both wanted to wrap themselves up entirely in his embrace and _not_ talk about it.

"That's a bit different sweetheart." Leia told their son softly.

"Don't be scared Muma. Daddy will protect you like he protects me from monsters in my dreams. They can't get us with Daddy here."

Leia met Han's eyes once again but this time there was no guilt in the look only love. Love for him, love for their son, love for their damaged yet somehow perfect family.

She gently took Ben's head from her shoulder to look him in the face.

"You know what? I think you're right baby." She parted his messy hair and kissed his forehead. "Thank you sweetheart." Ben grinned up at her, happy he had helped, and tucked himself back into the crook of her neck.

Han could see the last grips of her nightmare slowly leaving her, her tears finally drying up as 'Mummy Leia' took over. She laced her fingers through the curls of Ben's hair and rocked him slowly in the way both she and Han knew would send him to sleep in no time. He already felt slightly heavier in her arms.

"I stay here." Ben yawned, his grip on the Wookie toy loosening in exhaustion. "Just till you go sleep. Like Daddy does with me."

Han chuckled lightly knowing Ben would be asleep long before Leia or himself.

"Okay." Leia agreed. She turned him over in her arms and placed him gently down on the mattress beside her. "You lie here then, next to me." Ben immediately rolled back towards her, already half asleep. "Budge over sleepy. We need to make room for Daddy."

Han could hear the smile in Leia's voice as he began to make his way back to his side of the bed. It was a big bed and Leia and Ben were both small but somehow Han had ended up with very little room. He didn't mind. It was a small price to pay to know his family were okay and safe beside him. He pulled back the covers and squeezed himself in, his long arms reaching around both of them. Leia was on her side, her back to Han and facing Ben whose eyelids appeared to be getting weightier by the second. She continued to stroke his hair and in minutes he was asleep, the sound of his deep breathing filling the room and calming her even further. For a moment Leia thought Han had fallen asleep too; the feel of his breath dancing across her shoulder was slow and even, but then he spoke, so softly she almost didn't hear him despite the near silence of the room:

"I wish I could protect you, both of you, the way he thinks I can."

"You can." She replied without an instant of hesitation. "You do. They used to be so much worse before I had you to wake up next to."

Han grinded his head into the back of hers almost painfully and she heard him, unsuccessfully, try to suffocate a groan. She could feel the frustration rolling off of him. _If this is them improved what the hell were they like before?_ His overtired brain demanded but instead he said:

"It's not enough…"

"Han," she cut him off, her voice still quiet as not to wake Ben. "It's all you can do and it is enough." He didn't reply and she knew he didn't believe a single syllable of that sentence. She took a deep breath and continued: "Do you know why I always want to be so close to you when I wake up from one of them?" She didn't give him time to respond, knowing she would lose her nerve if she did. "It's because the heat of your skin, and the smell of you deep in the crook of your neck, and the feel of your hands on my back, they… they make me feel safe. When only a moment before I felt like I'd never be safe again now I'm awake and in your arms and feeling like nothing can get me. That's what you do for me, for both of us. That feeling is everything."

Han lay there in shocked silence. In all the years he'd shared a bed with her, been witness to the dreams that haunted her, this was the most she'd ever spoken about the subject. He had no idea how to respond so instead he took his hand from where it lay on Ben's sleeping stomach and moved it to her waist, drawing her closer to him and kissing the base of her neck solidly.

"I love you." He whispered hoarsely.

"I know." And then after a beat she said, matching the sincerity of his tone: "My gods, do I know that." She cleared her throat softly in an attempt to stop her feeling so kriffing vulnerable. "I'll call Luke tomorrow. There has to be a way to stop him seeing all that."

"We'll figure it out sweetheart. We always do."

She smiled into the top of their son's head. That, at least for now, was true.


End file.
